The Glorious readme.txt – Or, How to Sound Smart Enough for the WordPress Directory

If your plugin was a movie, the readme.txt would be the trailer, poster, and overly enthusiastic popcorn guy all rolled into one. Let’s make it count.

“Behind every successful plugin there is a readme.txt file that always exist.”

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🎬 What Even Is readme.txt?

It’s the thing WordPress uses to display your plugin’s:

• Title
• Description
• Screenshots
• Changelog
• Literally everything users see before they click “Install”

If it sucks? Users swipe left. Or worse — never even find your plugin.

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📦 Anatomy of an Epic readme.txt

Here's a legendary boilerplate that even the Plugin Review Team will shed a tear over:

=== My Noob Plugin ===
Contributors: kahnu044
Tags: funny, useful, definitely-not-malware
Requires at least: 5.0
Tested up to: 6.5
Requires PHP: 7.2
Stable tag: 1.0.0
License: GPLv2 or later
License URI: https://www.gnu.org/licenses/gpl-2.0.html

== Description ==

This plugin does something extremely important. Probably something like saving time, money, or puppies.

== Installation ==

1. Upload the plugin to your `/wp-content/plugins/` directory
2. Activate it through the 'Plugins' menu in WordPress
3. Regret nothing

== Screenshots ==

1. It's alive!
2. Still working!
3. You did it!

== Changelog ==

= 1.0.0 =
* First public release.
* Added awesomeness.
* Removed all bugs (just kidding, some bugs probably survived).

== Frequently Asked Questions ==

= Why does this plugin exist? =
Because I couldn't find one that did exactly this. Also, caffeine.

= Is it safe? =
Ish. Just kidding, yes. I even sanitized my inputs and wore gloves.

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🚫 Common Mistakes (AKA Plugin Suicide)

• ❌ Skipping == Description ==: your plugin ends up in the “WTF does this even do?” category.
• ❌ Leaving changelog empty: users assume it's abandoned.
• ❌ Using tags like cool, plugin, or help – try seo, woocommerce, calendar (you know, real tags).

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🦸 Bonus Pro Tips

• Add emoji to your description if you want to look ✨trendy✨
• Include a link to your site or GitHub if you want love letters (or bug reports)
• Write like a human, not a robot who just discovered plugins

Let me know when you’re ready for the next part Submitting to WordPress.org — and I’ll make it just as ridiculous and useful!